Corrupt a wish

[Revamp - The Harlequin Sadist]

Granted! but there is no gas station for a hundred miles in all directions.

I wish i could be as wise as socrates.

[H•A•Y•A•T•E]

granted!

but you will be as wise as Socrates was as a newborn.

I wish I had the ability to seduce any woman I wanted to

[A L A H I R']

Granted, but after they are seduced they immediately are turned off from you.

I wish I had the power to stop time

[Revamp - The Harlequin Sadist]

granted, but you only stop time on your heart and you died immediately.

I wish i had X-ray vision.

[A L A H I R']

Granted, but it's filled with dog crap and has barb wire for buns.

I wish Kishi would put out the next episode of Bench

[Hatake Inate]

Granted, but he puts Naruto on hiatus indefinitely to focus on Bench.

I wish I had photographic memory.

[Revamp - The Harlequin Sadist]

Granted, but it only holds memory of elderly rape.

I wish i could sing through my nose.

[A L A H I R']

Granted. but it becomes immediately clogged with mucus.

I wish that snooki from jersey shore would get punched again.

[H•A•Y•A•T•E]

granted, but right as it happens you suddenly fall in love with Snooki and you cannot savor the moment

I wish that the next person that posts here will be happy forever. *trollface*

[Revamp - The Harlequin Sadist]

Granted, but it eventually annoys you so much that you're miserable for the rest of your life.

I wish i had a genie that gave 1000 wishes that never went wrong, that could never be stolen from me, and makes me immortal as my first wish, which he already granted.

[Toriah Dyato]

Granted but you waste your remaining wishes on silly things and regret making them and because your immortal you end up watching everyone you love die

I wish i had four arms so that i could do more things at once

[H•A•Y•A•T•E]

granted

but your four arms will all be half as long as your two regular arms

I wish that I could teleport like the guy from Jumper and there were no Paladins to hunt me

[Hatake Inate]

Granted, but you end being challenged by a team of comically overplayed supervillains and can never get a moments peace for the rest of your life.

I wish I found a $1 bill in my pocket that I didn't know was there.

[Akari Shima]

Granted.

But, sadly, that bill is dipped in poison. You will either die, or be sick for months on end.

I wish for....
A penguin.

[H•A•Y•A•T•E]

granted, but the penguin won't like you and will run away to your best friend's house forever.

I wish that someone will corrupt my wish.